Pearly white teeth are a universal symbol of aristocratic status, which is why sharks are known as the wet jet set. Claim caviar-caliber chompers with today’s Groupon to The Orthodontic Center, with two locations in Columbia and Florence. For $99, choose from the following options for patients new and old:

New patients

• Initial consultation, including x-rays, separators, and teeth models (a $200 value).

Current patients

• One month of orthodontic treatment (a $200 value).
• For patients with braces, receive a Trèswhite Ortho whitening kit, a take-home whitening kit (a $175 value), or for patients without braces, receive an Opalescence take-home whitening kit with two tubes of 10% whitening gel (a $175 value).

Enamel elitists judge teeth on three criteria: straightness, whiteness, and the bikini competition. Get your mouthful of molars ready for swimsuit season with orthodontic diligence. New patients will receive an initial workup, which includes medical consultation, x-rays, separators, and models of your teeth. Those who continue on the straight-and-narrow tooth path will also receive their first month of treatment free.

Metal-mouthed current patients may reap the bleachy benefits of the Trèswhite Ortho, a whitewash that works on dental fences. If your gnashers are free-range, you may choose to take home an Opalescence whitening kit with custom-fit trays and two tubes of whitening gel. Finally, the sufficiently sparkling may simply choose to pay off one $200 monthly fee.