In the future, teeth will contain microchips—called molar panels—that collect the sun's energy to power gum chewing and forced smiling during awkward encounters with former bosses and guidance counselors. Benefit from current tooth-tending technologies with today's Groupon: for $79, you get a 40-minute DaVinci Teeth Whitening treatment at The Perfect Touch (a $258 value).
The Perfect Touch's expert aestheticians administer a whitening treatment that can turn teeth 5 to 14 shades brighter in less than an hour. During the procedure, a soothing blue LED laser light activates an organic hydrogen-peroxide gel to grapple unruly biters into sparkling submission. The food-grade gel, which is concocted from plant- and mineral-sourced materials, is designed to keep sensitive or crotchety fangs from rioting in your mouth. Once the tonal transformation is complete, patients walk away with the graffiti of tobacco, wine, coffee, and age erased from the highway overpass of their smiles. The results typically last one to three years but will last longer if mouthbones are properly maintained through careful dental hygiene and bribery of the Tooth Fairy.
The Perfect Touch
The Perfect Touch aims to magnify beauty and boost guests' confidence with a wide range of aesthetic treatments. Teeth-whitening sessions, for example, use an organic hydrogen peroxide gel and LED laser light to undo the effects of years of smoking, wine drinking, or gargling with soy sauce. Gleaming, long-lasting Shellac manicures pamper and beautify hands, and epsom-salt pedicures smooth calluses with a peppermint foot scrub and lavender or cucumber lotion. Paraffin-therapy treatments are available as an add-on to help soothe dry skin and promote better circulation in the fingers and toes.