$39 for Two-Hour Guided Tour from The Segway Adventure
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- Two-hour guided, extended tour
- Frequent wildlife sightings
- Segway training provided
Jump to: Segway Voice Commands
Get all the thrills of a walking tour without all the hassle and leg moving of traditional ambulation with today’s Groupon. This deal gets you a two-hour guided tour from The Segway Adventure for $39 (normally $65).
After meeting at the Hilton starting point and undergoing a training session that is rumored to frown upon Segway jousting, you will segue on your Segway to the Ream Wilson trail and follow it to see a fantastic panorama of the Gulf of Mexico from the Clearwater Memorial Causeway. From there, you'll buzz down the corkscrew to Coachman Park for an optional caffeine refueling and/or muffinery at Starbucks before continuing to historic Harbor Oaks, the Clearwater Beach Walk, Clearwater Pass, and finally finishing in Sand Key Park. Along the way, there's a chance you'll spot manatees, dolphins, sea turtles, stingrays, and wild parrots. In just two hours, you'll have covered 11 miles worth of sunny landscapes and wildlife.
Segway tours (particularly the sunset tour at 7 p.m.) make fun first dates, let you explore a side of the Bay Area you wouldn't have been able to reach with your car or Sherman tank, and show you what your life would have been like if you'd sprung for that cybernetic wheel-feet upgrade. Tours start from the Hilton at Fun Ride Rentals (next to Pier 60 and the marina) every day at 10:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 4:30 p.m., and 7 p.m.
Note: All riders must sign a waiver and weigh between 100 pounds and 280 pounds.
Segway Voice Commands
Segways, the zenith of human technology, are unparalleled in their highly advanced features, including their many hidden voice commands. During your remarkable Segway Adventure, make sure to ask your guide before initiating any of the following voice-activated hidden Segway protocols.
I want to be a cavalryman, as my father was: Causes Segway to shoot $100 bills wildly into crowd.
Ice Zero-Niner: Inverts controls on all other Segways within earshot.
Paul is Dead: Allows Segway to magnetically travel up the side of buildings or adhere to hulls of ships.
Good Morning: This obscure phrase will cause a total protonic reversal, stopping all life as you know it and exploding every molecule in your body at the speed of light.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start: Infinite Segways.
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