After a long day of besieging steppe settlements, the Mongol hordes liked to kick back with a vigorous massage, a copy of the Daily Khan, and a nice warm glass of fermented yak's milk. Conquer your own serenity with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get $70 worth of spa services at The Spa at Bob's East near I-164 and Lloyd Expressway.
The Spa at Bob's East saps away stress from bodies and minds with relaxing massages and beautifying skincare treatments that leave patrons aglow. Like out-of-practice necromancers, muscles that have lost the ability to properly animate their skeletons can be kneaded back into working order by an experienced massage therapist during one of four back massages ($70 for one hour), or a 20-minute foot massage ($20).
The pure relaxation massage blends Swedish and circulatory massage in a mélange of cardiovascular stimulation and muscle relaxation, opening up dammed blood flow and banishing fractious stress spirits. The therapeutic massage uses stretching and pressure-point stimulation to calm jittery nervous systems, and the sports massage helps athletes and those suffering from reduced range of motion ease back into stretchy shape. The deep-tissue massage uses slow, strong strokes to alleviate chronic pain and tension, loosening up muscles that have been petrified by immobile desk jobs and encounters with subdermal medusae.
The one-hour custom classic facial restores tired visages to youthful vigor, cleansing skin of grime, hydrating thirsty cells, and softening sensitive puckers with a mask and an upper-body massage ($70). Waxing services strip away unsightly tufts from the bikini line ($30), underarms ($20), or legs ($60). Unlike exclusive backyard tree-fort spas, membership is not required to take advantage of the spa’s services.