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What You'll Get
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Chiropractic experts at The Vital Energy Center use the Myovision SEMG to detect vertebral subluxations by measuring the amount of electrical activity that muscles release when they’re tense. Then they use their hands to give really good massages. Choose from three different hour-long, muscle-melting massages from Vital Energy’s expert therapists (graduates of the Soma Institute of Neuromuscular Integration and the Wellspring School for Healing Arts). Vital Energy is the only place in Seattle where you can get an AMMA massage: an atypical, Eastern medicinal rub that includes nutritional advice, herbal therapies, and other health suggestions like “pecans may or may not give you eternal life” or “you should work out in my garage when I’m not home.”
This Groupon lets you pick one of three hour-long massages:
- Traditional Swedish Massage: Fantastic for easing tense muscles and relaxing the mind and body. Massage therapist Tara Hocha is an expert at treating muscle and joint injuries, reducing pain and stiffness, and facilitating recovery after auto accidents, work injuries, or embarrassment.
- AMMA Bodywork Therapy: An ancient and extremely specialized form of skilled bodywork that integrates deep-tissue manipulation, pressure application, friction, and touch to specific acupoints, energy channels, muscles, ligaments, and joints. AMMA Bodywork Therapists are trained in the principles of holistic nutrition, Eastern dietary principles, and the use of Chinese herbs in delicious dishes like spicy chicken with peanuts and Szechwan beef with broccoli.
- SOMA Structural Integration and Massage: A system of bodywork that pays particular attention to the fascia (or connective tissue network), SOMA releases tension in the fascia and thus provides relief from chronic pain and tension and improves overall structural alignment.
The Vital Energy Center is a beautifully restored 1904 Craftsman in historic Capitol Hill. The main treatment room has a wood-burning fireplace and a fantastic view of the Olympic Mountains. Hardwood floors and plenty of plants make it an inviting place (the staff says 95% of their patients are referred to them from a satisfied friend or family member). This Groupon is good for an entire year, and it’s $12 cheaper than the $47 massage special on Vital Energy’s website.
Yelpers and Citysearchers give Vital Energy Center a perfect five stars: > * My back felt wonderful when I left, and I spent my bus ride home having something of a spiritual experience. – Inna B., Yelp > * You can tell the Vital Energy Center is a special place right away. It just FEELS GOOD… The entryway is lush with vegetation and the waiting area is washed in sunlight… It’s got a warm feel to it, not clinical, but very professional and clean. – Bryan M., Yelp > * After you visit Dr. Kohler’s office you’ll see why it’s just not fair to compare all the other docs to him…as he is in a league of his own! – ChrysJ, Citysearch
Sweden: Home of the Swedish Massage
Everyone knows that Swedes use a lot of oils in their famous massages, but did you know that Sweden is the world’s second-largest consumer of lubricating oils, trailing only hard-bodied male strippers? A 2006 study in The American Examiner of Suspicious Swedish Behavior reported that Swedes annually use 1,460 gallons of lubricating oils per person. That comes out to exactly four gallons per person, per day, every day of the year (leap year not factored in to avoid over-complication). To non-Swedes, that number may sound high, but in a country driven by the Swedish massage, ABBA, and general sexiness, it’s right on par.
Here’s the typical oil-usage schedule of an average Swedish family of four on military time:
05:30: Wake up, full-body soak in vat of oil (300 gal.)
06:30: Family massage (5 gal.)
10:30: Period of quiet thought (3 gal.)
12:00: Operate massage parlor out of Smart car (1 gal.)
13:00: Leave work
13:30: Period of slightly louder thought (4 gal.)
20:00: Slide beneath bed’s vinyl sheets and sleep (3 gal.)
If you’re interested in living like a Swede, check out today’s deal on an incredible Swedish massage. If their lifestyle frightens you, go with the SOMA Structural Integration and Massage or the AMMA Bodywork Therapy. Either way, you get an awesome massage for a full hour.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Aug 6, 2010. Amount paid never expires. First-time patients only. Limit 1 per person. May purchase multiple as gifts. Must call or book online for an appointment. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.