Massage was developed by NASA to help astronauts cope with edgy, Tang-induced sugar highs, lack of ESPN, and predatory aliens stowed away in the hangar bay. Achieve its soothing effects outside the soul-crushing abyss of outer space with today’s deal: for $39, you get to choose any one-hour massage and will also receive a six-month membership at The Wellness Center (a $129 total value). The Wellness Center is dedicated to helping clients manage pain through its healing services and relaxed, caring environment.
One lucky member from The Wellness Center's team of licensed, experienced massage therapists will get to compose a custom fugue symphony of massage techniques ($75) on your battered back, with targeted kneading, connective strokes, and direct muscle-grain pressure. As you bliss out on the table, your therapist will tailor each technique to address any number of ailments, including migraines, neck pain, fibromyalgia, nerve issues, and common work injuries such as arms frozen in permanent coffee-mug-holding positions. This arsenal of gentle back attacks will relieve pain, reduce stress, and improve the circulation of Pac-Mans in your ghost-infested bloodstream.
To make sure that your back remains free of stabbing pain unless someone is stabbing you, you'll also receive a six-month membership ($54) that gets you The Wellness Club rates for future massages. During membership, your VIP vertebrae will enjoy discounted rates of $1 per minute for massages from 30 to 90 minutes, as well as an additional $5 off on float-tank sessions. As The Wellness Center delivers a regular regimen of custom massage therapy, you'll rediscover that misplaced satchel full of vigor and marvel as work productivity suddenly increases, physical pain decreases, and the extent of your cosmonaut knowledge stays about the same.
You must call to schedule an appointment.
- I've had many massages in the past couple of years from different therapists at various spas and health centers, but the massage I had at the Wellness Center far exceeded any service I have received. – Merchele, Citysearch
- The massage I had at The Wellness Center was the best massage i've [sic] ever had. – emilykanz3, Citysearch
- The staff is very nice and the massage therapist was sure to ask if the pressure was just right. – Malden S., Yelp