Eighty percent of America's cucumber crops go toward making pickles; the other 50 percent is distributed among spas for edible eye coverings. Harvest your senses with today's deal: for $65, you get a one-hour Swedish massage and a European facial at The White Orchid Salon & Spa (a $140 value). This Groupon can be used over two visits.

The benevolent body bufferers at The White Orchid Salon & Spa are expertly trained to transform skin owners into an indestructible engine powered solely by bliss. First, hand over your fore-pores to the licensed aesthetician, who will administer a thorough European facial (starting at $80). The relaxing procedure, carefully tailored to your skin type, will clean and exfoliate the skin, leaving it bright, healthy, and free of expired mothballs. The relaxation train forges forward with a calming, tension-nullifying one-hour Swedish massage ($60). Using light to medium pressure, the certified therapist will knead achy muscles throughout the corpus using long, slow strokes, thereby restoring your body to a nubile state of relaxed joyousness unlike any since you got your braces removed.

Pleasant lighting, cushy chairs, and elegant décor swathe subjects in a tranquil, comfy atmosphere, accentuated further by the friendly staff's positive energies and Super Soakers loaded with frankincense. The White Orchid's specialists pride themselves on their continued education in their respective spa disciplines, and they'll happily transmit their up-to-the-minute expertise and advice to clients. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.

Reviews

Yelpers give The White Orchid Salon & Spa a perfect five-star average:

• White Orchid salon is a comfortable, clean and lovely enviroment [sic] to relax and be pampered. – Katherine H.
• I took a chance and hoped the benefits would outweigh the costs. Boy, did they ever. – Jessica F.