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What You'll Get
People resort to extreme measures to slim down, such as subsisting on a strict diet of tea leaves or sleeping in pantyhose sleeping bags. Take an expert approach to becoming svelte with today's Groupon: for $799, you get six Zerona body-slimming laser treatments (a $2000 value) and a medical weight-loss exam (a $200 value) at Thin Centers MD on Berkshire Lane (a $2,200 total value).
The FDA-approved Zerona treatments apply cold-laser technology to evict fat from targeted areas, leaving behind a trimmer figure. Pre-treatments, patients receive a body composition and blood panel analysis as well as a consultation focusing on healthy lifestyle choices and getting the most out of the Zerona treatments. After the consultation, patrons relax as an automated laser combs over targeted areas such as the stomach, hips, and thighs. Patients should expect the process to take 40 minutes—20 minutes while lying face-up, and 20 minutes face-down—during which the laser liquefies the fat cells that, like childhood dreams of becoming a dermatologist, rest just beneath the skin's surface. Unlike surgical fat removal and legal fat eviction, the liquefied cells are then noninvasively purged by the body's natural detoxification system.
Today's Groupon provides six separate treatment sessions, which should be used in a two-week period for optimal results. After a four-week interval, Zerona lasers trim bodies by an average of up to 15 inches with no significant side effects, aside from a corresponding rise in harmless, laser-fixated dream sequences.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 23, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person. Limit 1 per visit. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Thin Centers MD
Anthony Capasso, a board-certified doctor of internal medicine, has channeled his more than 15 years of experience treating weight-related ailments into developing medication-free approaches to weight loss at Thin Centers MD. At each location, clients start their medical weight-loss regimens with an initial consultation that uses various health metrics—including medical history and a blood evaluation—to determine which approach fits them best. Dr. Capasso’s diets come tailored to various lifestyles, ranging from those that work for avid cooks to diets for people with hectic schedules. Each of the programs can also be enhanced with the fat-melting technology of an FDA-approved Zerona laser. Weekly follow-up visits with the medical staff help patients track their weight-loss progress, stamp their diet journal with the words “Private—This Means You, Mom,” and make any necessary changes to their program.