Music is humanity's universal language, narrowly beating out such close contenders as Esperanto, The Simpsons references, and yodeled profanity. Speak to the multitudes with today’s Groupon to Tone Def Studio. Choose between the following options:

• For $80, you get two hours of studio recording time (a $300 value).
• For $150, you get four hours of studio recording time (a $600 value).
  
  

A full-service recording studio, Tone Def facilitates aural artistry with an impressive array of production equipment and on-site engineers. Record a new single alone or with a crew of studio musicians, and let the expert sound technicians mix and edit the result until it's ready to make its debut on any home sound system or on Brian Eno's answering machine. This Groupon entitles artists to two copies of their in-studio recording, and additional CDs cost $5 each. For an additional $40, the studio’s audiovisual wizards can immortalize the entire session in video, perfect for sending as a gift to Grandma or her friends at MTV.

Tone Def is also an independent record label, and aids apprentice musicians with a 3,000-square-foot rehearsal space, music lessons, and an artist-development department that sends talented candidates to the 106 & Park TV show in New York. Call the studio at any time of day to schedule a recording session or ask a question, such as what to do if your powerful guitar solo creates a rift in the time-space continuum.