What You'll Get
Similar to old pennies, environmental toxins are ubiquitous, harmful if swallowed, and may contain trace amounts of Abraham Lincoln. Impeach toxins from the body with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a lymphatic-drainage therapy treatment (a $125 value) and a consultation (a $150 value) at Total Health Institute in Wheaton (a $275 total value).
Chiropractic physician Keith Nemec and his wife Laurie practice advanced alternative health-care methods that focus on achieving well-being through holistic therapies. A 20- to 30-minute consultation preps patients for the one-hour therapy treatment, during which the doctor uses a machine and two gas field wands to conduct a gentle lymphatic massage. This noninvasive treatment is designed to give thick, stagnant lymph fluid a water-like consistency to stimulate drainage of toxins from cells, glands, tissues, organs, funny bones, and melancholy joints. In addition, the procedure aims to disperse white-blood-cell traffic jams, sending them speeding in all directions of the body to dispel inflammation, bacteria, and instances of vein rage.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Feb 4, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Must be 18 or older. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.