What You'll Get
Like the music of Pink Floyd, weight loss can be greatly enhanced by using lasers or performing squats in time to The Wizard of Oz. Take the journey with today’s Groupon to Total Health Wellness Center. Choose between the following options:
- For $1,099, you get six Zerona weight-loss treatments (a $2,400 value).
- For $1,499, you get nine Zerona weight-loss treatments (a $3,600 value).<p>
Total Health Wellness Center’s resident weight-loss expert, Dr. Ken Clenin, guides a team of trained laser wielders as they zap inches from patients’ front and backsides with Zerona treatments, a device that has made a name for itself on such programs as Rachael Ray. After a pretreatment consultation, patients spend each 40-minute session reclining comfortably as five low-light, cold laser beams dance to and fro across the epidermal expanse. The lasers emulsify subcutaneous fat regions beneath the skin’s surface, causing them to release their fatty fluids into the space between the cells. Unlike liposuction or getting sawed in half by an unlicensed magician, Zerona treatments offer weight loss without invasiveness, discomfort, or downtime, with patients able to resume their normal routines as soon as each session is over. Though results vary from person to person, most patients see results after four to six treatments, effects that can be enhanced with the addition of diet, exercise, and holding weather balloons while standing on the bathroom scale.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Aug 1, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per visit. Valid only for option purchased. Appointment required; subject to availability. Valid for ages 18-65. Must sign waiver. New clients only. Consultation required, non-candidates will be refunded. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Total Health Wellness Center
Dr. Ken Clenin knows that, when it comes to wellness, there's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all solution. That's why, before he crafts his personalized treatment plans, members of his staff chat with clients about their body's joints, muscles, and steam-powered pistons, honing in on any chronic conditions or new trouble spots. Since many health issues can be traced back to excess weight, the center specializes in helping clients shed their unwanted pounds. Using their Ideal Protein Weight Loss Protocol, staffers kickstart sluggish metabolisms with treatment plans that skip gimmicky diets for nutritional coaching and sensible eating. The staff also helps clients with fat reduction, using a noninvasive Zerona machine that deploys low-level laser light that's designed to melt fat and contour physiques. In addition to weight loss programs, the center is also home to licensed and certified chiropractors, massage therapists, and holistic practitioners.