Although outdoor tanning allows humans to absorb the sun’s natural energy, the sapped star will eventually turn pale and suffer the fate of Earth’s original sun, the moon. Save the sun with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get a resort sampler package at Toucan Tan Resort & Spa (a $149 total value). The resort sampler package includes the following:

• One month of unlimited tanning in a deluxe tanning suite or one UV-free custom airbrush tan (a $39 value)
• A one-hour relaxation massage (a $60 value)
• A Dermalogica hydration facial cleanse and masque with skin mapping (a $30 value).
• One far-infrared-sauna body treatment (a $20 value).<p>

Toucan Tan Resort & Spa invites weary patrons to a two-hour excursion to paradise amid coconut-scented private tanning suites and the tension-melting vinyl of a massage table. Reggae music croons in the background as guests sip from private-label water bottles and decide whether to bronze in tanning booths, via spray tanning, or during extended power walks through the desert. The Deluxe tanning suite envelops recumbent guests in 3,600 watts of sun-replicating rays on a comfortable, well-maintained bed. Spray-on tans impart a radiant glow without ultraviolet light by employing an organic, aloe-based DHA solution. Derived from sugar cane, the hand-administered concoctions react with amino acids in the skin to produce an orange-free bronze that lasts up to five days with proper moisturizing and avoidance of long baths in Sunny D.

Once tour guides have attended to exterior surfaces, attention drifts toward the inner tissues with a one-hour massage. Therapists combine the kneading of Swedish modalities with the intense focus of deep-tissue massage to alleviate chronic tension and erase stress from past workweeks and upcoming bongo competitions. Clients then flip their faces upward for a hydrating facial cleanse administered with Dermalogica skincare products, which unclog the pores and replenish much-needed moisture to keep skin supple and fresh. The spa session concludes with a knot-untying stint beneath the focused heat of a far-infrared sauna, where guests munch on a complimentary chocolate as aestheticians sew merit badges onto their bathrobes.