Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Polish your life vehicle with today's Groupon: for $99, you get two cellulite-reduction laser treatments (a $198 value) and two Eurowave inch-loss treatments (a $100 value) at Transformations Body Management & Sculpting (a $298 total value).

At Transformations Body Management & Sculpting, experienced skincare experts smooth and tone bodies using noninvasive TriActive lasers and Eurowave treatments. During a mechanical massage, the TriActive Cellulite Workstation distends each client's skin in multiple directions to bolster microcirculation and promote both elasticity and lymphatic drainage. Meanwhile, six diode lasers beam light into the tissue, attacking cellulite below the skin's surface with the vigour of a child with a foam mallet. Eurowave treatments dispense pulsating faradic waves to target specific muscle groups and help shave inches off areas such as the buttocks, thighs, arms, or bust. Each 18-minute session simulates up to 200 sit-ups and helps create a firmer musculoskeletal structure without the need to actually perform exercises or wear monochromatic jogging suits. The treatment causes minimal muscle soreness, and results can last from six to eight months.

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