Despite what everyone says, trees really do have feelings, as exemplified by their sappy tears and hysterical outbursts whenever someone lights the Yule log. Demonstrate goodwill toward tree-men this holiday season with today's Groupon: for $35, you get $70 worth of online merchandise from Tree Classics. In addition to always-free shipping, Tree Classics offers a 30-day return and exchange policy.
Tree Classics features a wide selection of artificial Christmas trees, with variations in width, height, weight, and type, as well as a Tree Selection Wizard to help pinpoint the perfect pseudo-tannenbaum. Pre-lit trees, such as the American sterling fir ($199.95 for 4.5') or the slim frosted alpine spruce ($69.95 for 4'), take the lighting legwork out of trimming, whereas revelers preferring to light their own trees can opt for a bare fir such as the ready-to-light deluxe evergreen ($189.95 for 6.5'). In addition to spruce-able spruces, Tree Classics boasts a large selection of wreaths, garlands, candleholders, and storage solutions to help deck the halls and leave every garlanded nook, holly-boughed cranny, and non-denominational crawlspace needle-free.