When diet and exercise fail, humans must use more creative means to see the numbers on the scale drop, such as coaxing the overweight monkey off their back using nutritious banana smoothies. Shed pounds and inches without losing a friend with today’s Groupon: for $799, you get six Zerona laser fat-reduction treatments from Tri Cities Urgent Care in Willow Park (a $1,495 value).
Under the supervision of Dr. Nadeem Khan, Tri Cities Urgent Care's staff reduces belly bulge with a series of quick, noninvasive procedures. After a consultation, the FDA-approved Zerona body-contouring technology zaps superfluous fat cells using the Erchonia laser scanner, one of the most researched and safest low-level laser systems and the only one choreographed to match up with a Pink Floyd album. The noninvasive body-contouring system emulsifies fat cells, allowing the liquid fat to be flushed away by the body's natural toxin-clearing system.
Six Zerona treatments must be used during a period of two weeks, and unlike sleepless nights on a waterbed filled with icebergs, each treatment only requires patients to toss and turn once, spending 20 minutes on their front and 20 on their back. The procedure is virtually painless and leaves no wounds, bruises, or chocolaty fingerprints.