If you've ever sat beside a roaring fire, wishing its flame fingers would reach out and massage your aches and pains away, today's Groupon gives you all the warmth of a fire massage without the uncomfortable burns: for $42, you get a one-hour hot-stone massage at Trinity Day Spa (an $85 value) in Cypress. The spa—normally closed Sunday and Monday—will extend its regular hours as a courtesy to Groupon customers and take appointments seven days a week.

Trinity Day Spa offers a vast procession of body-blissing services in a tranquil spa environment. Utilizing the pampering power of hot stones, the licensed massage therapists loosen muscles and tranquilize tension over the course of 60 mollycoddling minutes in the comfort of a clean, private treatment room. After warming up the stones with a special heater and a series of time-tested mother-in-law jokes, the therapist places six simmering rocks onto strategic points along the client's back, shoulders, legs, and arms, luring muscles along all corporeal compass points into a serene state of melty. Muscle masons then softly stroke sinewy fibers, releasing pent-up stress, lactic acid, and forgotten field-trip permission slips. Using firm, swift strokes, the human-meat tenderizer also incorporates elements of Swedish massage, diving digits-first into the soul sack to work out kinks and untie knots before reshaping them into new-muscle origami.