Like an unscrupulous politician, a paintball player only achieves victory when he makes everyone else look dirtier than him. Stay positive with today's Groupon: for $10, you get admission, gun and mask rental, unlimited air, and unlimited play at Twisted Paintball in Conroe (a $22 value). Paintballs are not included with this Groupon and must be purchased from the facility separately starting at $18.
Twisted Paintball lets slip the dogs of nonlethal war across five distinct fields, each outfitted with different obstacles and forms of cover. Customers outfit themselves with a mask for protection before equipping an electronic rental marker with 3,000-psi compressed air tanks that hurl paintballs with the accuracy of a professional pitcher aiming at a dunk tank. The five fields span the drained banks of nearby Crystal Creek as well as its surrounding wooded terrain, although four of them are within a 30-second jaunt of the rest area.
Guests will have all day to stage neon-splattered firefights amid the industrial pipes, monster-truck tires, and wooden fort that adorn the assorted fields. Fresh canisters of compressed air await the gladiators, but paintballs must be purchased from the facility ($18 for 500). Twisted Paintball dedicates itself to the safety of its customers by strictly enforcing its rules and banning paint-filled balloons in accordance with the Geneva Conventions.
As they race across five different fields, paintballers at Twisted Paintball might find cover behind the walls of a giant fort, under an old car, or behind piled-up tractor tires. But there's one thing they're not likely to encounter: major puddles. Because the field lies on the banks of Crystal Creek, it drains so quickly that play never has to stop due to rainy weather.
While players may not need rain boots, they'll still want to pick up other equipment from the field's rental house. After outfitting themselves with a mask for protection, players use 3000-psi compressed air tanks that shoot paintballs with the speed and accuracy of a mathematician doing times tables.