Despite their destructive cinematic depictions, most lasers are content with assisting slideshow presentations and translating DVDs for people who don't speak fluent binary. Embrace the altruistic portion of the electromagnetic spectrum with today's Groupon: for $299, you get one year of Soprano or Harmony XL laser hair-removal treatments on up to three areas at TWS Laser Clinic (up to a $3400 value). Click here to see areas eligible for laser hair removal.

TWS Laser Clinic's skilled technicians de-fuzz almost any part of the body using the Soprano system or Harmony XL system from Alma Lasers. Distinguished by lower levels of heat and more advanced lightsaber swings than most laser systems, the Soprano or Harmony XL pulses light energy into active follicles to inhibit future growth. After a consultation based on skin type, TWS determines if the Soprano or Harmony XL is the appropriate laser. As warmth wells beneath the surface of the skin, the selected laser’s cooling mechanism strives to keep underarms, bikini zones, and facescapes comfortable.

Treatments take as little as five minutes for small areas such as the upper lip, or 30 minutes for larger areas such as a man’s back or a hobbit’s foot. No numbing is necessary, and most clients experience no downtime and can immediately resume normal activities. TWS recommends at least six treatments per area for optimal results, and buyers can schedule a free consultation to discuss the procedure in further detail.