Like fine marble statues, human bodies must be touched up on a regular basis lest their surfaces dull, their north sides moss, and their forearms fall off. Lavish your life vehicle with today's Groupon: for $45, you get a 60-minute therapeutic fusion massage at U MedSpa in Smyrna (a $90 value). Groupon holders may upgrade to a 90-minute massage for an additional fee.

U MedSpa bestows soothing services upon customers in need of personal, custom attention within its retreat-like, multihued confines. Relax in the dexterous hands of licensed massage therapists as they knead tension-filled torsos so they can loosen up and slip comfortably into a human cannon at the circus. The massage therapist administering the therapeutic fusion massage, one of the most popular services at the spa, assesses each guest’s individual kneading needs and tailors a custom massage. By pairing various treatments with medium and deep pressure strokes to whip up a medley of limber ligaments, each massage ensures customers will be renewed so that they’re mistaken for their younger, time-warped selves at high-school reunions.

Reviews

Citysearchers give U MedSpa a perfect five-star average:

• Everyone I spoke to was very friendly. You could tell that their ultimate goal was to make you comfortable. The spa is extremely clean, relaxing and beautiful. - N Rinehart
• I felt great for weeks after. From now on when I return to the Atlanta area, I will visit U medspa every time.. without exception! – clljplsams