What You'll Get
When Copernicus suggested that the sun, not the earth, was the centre of the universe, he didn't realize how big the sun's ego could get or how long earth could hold volcanic grudges. Avoid the intricacies of this longstanding relationship with today's Groupon to Ultra Glow Tanning Lounge in North Vancouver. Choose between two options:
- For $40, you get one month of unlimited tanning (a $150 value).
- For $49, you get three California Tan spray tans (a $99 value).
Ultra Glow Tanning Lounge's posh, welcoming confines soothe clients' mind matter as bodies accumulate radiant shades of gold. Prepare for trips to the beach or through neighbours' sprinkler systems with unlimited access to five tanning beds, equipped with comforting features such as cooling fans, recordings of mothers singing lullabies, and body-conforming beds. Three California Tans spray tans treat pallid epidermis to a UV-free bronzing session. In less than one minute, clients can achieve a sheen that invokes the flame-cooked marshmallows and the despair of the defeated sun.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires May 3, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Must activate by 5/2/12, membership expires 1 month from activation date. By appointment only. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.