Like ripened fruits, people with healthy-colored skin tend to spend less time loitering in orchards and are more likely to get picked up at the grocery store. Catch the eye of passing orangutans with today’s Groupon: for $29, you get 30 days of unlimited tanning in level-one to level-three beds and spray tanning at Unlimited Tan (a $79 value). This Groupon is valid at Unlimited Tan’s locations in the South Loop, Bourbonnais, Romeoville, Plainfield, Mokena, and Lockport.

Unlimited Tan produces winter-defying bronzed glows year-round with a wide selection of stand-up and lie-down tanning booths and UV-free tanning options. Three levels of tanning equipment await eager epidermises, with the knowledgeable staff helping to match skin tones with the appropriate intensity. Levels one to three include both stand-up booths and reclining beds, accommodating those who nap normally and those who sleep like bats. For skin-soaking pseudosun, the Autobronzer and MysticTan UV-free booths spray on natural-looking California Tan Sunless Solution in fewer than 60 seconds, providing a quick fix to skin that’s paled from too much exposure to the moon’s ethereal glow.