After many failed attempts to repurpose old sweaters into segway fuel or oversized gerbil wedding dresses, it was finally determined that the only viable way to recycle clothing is simply to wear the clothes again. Continue the circle of life with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of new and gently used designer apparel at Uptown Cheapskate.
Uptown Cheapskate buys and sells designer clothing at discounted prices to outfit budget-conscious customers in popular brands such as Abercrombie, Forever21, and True Religion. Unlike haggling over the value of a car or your younger sibling's used pacifiers, Uptown Cheapskate employs a fast, simple, software-based process to determine a fair value based on an item's condition, popularity, and SAT score. Prices for brand-names women's jeans start at $8.99, and all tops start at $3.99, and can be nabbed for a fraction of their original costs. Shoes typically sticker between $8 for used, and up to $29.99 for new, whereas dress pants from brands such as Banana Republic and Gap retail for around $15, and other brands start as low as $10, and can be complemented by an array of unique accessories for both men and women.
Customers looking to free up some closet space for new items are free to use their Groupons on top of a trade-in and can return any purchases within 14 days for exchange value, as long as the clothing still has its tags and the same number of teeth that it left with.