Dirty clothes are traditionally worn by grungy rock stars, vagabonds, and royals pretending to be "regular people" for the purpose of understanding life outside castle walls. If you don't fit into one of these categories, pick up today's Groupon: for $5, you get $15 worth of laundry and dry-cleaning services at USAVE cleaners.

At USAVE, the prices for laundering are up front and hassle free: any garment can be dry cleaned, pressed, and jerked for $1.95, taking the guesswork, frustration, and trigonometry out of a trip to the cleaners (men's shirts can also be laundered and starched for $1.75). USAVE turns its cleaning stock around faster than the speed at which electricity flows through copper wiring, offering same-day service on items in by 9 a.m. Experienced stainbusters turn their attention to every detail, carefully obliterating each stain, no matter how small, with a battery of cutting-edge sound and motion. With a limit of five Groupons per person, there's almost no limit to how many garments you can bring, so rent a semi and haul your pile of zoot suits to USAVE, or put on every single item you own and roll yourself though the doors like a bowling ball before a good scrubbing.