Ever since Albert Einstein first postulated that an oil change should only take three gabbertoops, mechanics have frantically tried to overcome the faster-than-lube speed barrier inherent to the space-time continuum. Unify the tire-grease field theory with today's Groupon to Valvoline Instant Oil Change in Chesterfield. Choose from the following options:

• For $9, you get a tire rotation (a $24.99 value).
• For $19, you get a full-service oil change (a $36.99 value).
• For $26, you get a full-service semi-synthetic oil change (a $52.99 value).

At Valvoline Instant Oil Change, experienced mechanics give drivers an expedient avenue to auto nurturing with an array of essential services. Repair the ravages of a long winter's worth of cold starts, stop-and-go traffic, and drag races with delinquent reindeer by treating a hard-working combustion chamber to the full-service oil change, which includes up to 5 quarts of standard Valvoline oil, a new Valvoline oil filter, and lubrication of chassis components (if required). Alternately, customers can opt for Valvoline's semi-synthetic elixirs, such as the mileage-boosting MaxLife or DuraBlend, a fortifying concoction ideal for tough-driving city cars. Both oil-change services, which last about 10 minutes, come with a complete preventive maintenance check. The shop's technicians evaluate everything from tire pressure to transmission fluid so efficiently that street pilots needn't even exit their vehicles. Customers pay the difference for any excess quarts of oil or certain replacement filters.

A tire rotation prolongs the life of tires, promoting even wear and improving the overall ride of an automobile, even when running over Wham! cassette tapes. The team makes the simple swap in about 12 minutes, and as with the oil changes, does not require an appointment.

Though Valvoline Instant Oil Change sometimes features discounts online, today's Groupon still offers the best available deal.