Recent findings by premier Egyptologists suggest mummification was not a method of preservation, but a failed attempt to heal citizens' sore muscles by wrapping them head-to-toe in ace bandages. Make modern muscles merry with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour massage with Cindy Barty, LMT at Vandalia Massage Therapy (a $60 value).
Experienced massage therapist Cindy Barty can ease aching limbs and tired torsos with customizable massages. First-timers take part in a timely tête-à-tête with Cindy, who will take into account the customer's injury history, troubled muscle areas, and previous incarnations as a bodybuilder to tailor her healing movements. With modesty in mind, guests are encouraged to wear whatever makes them comfortable, be it snowsuit or no suit. After an hour of kneading and reveling in relaxation, clients can expect released endorphins, increased circulation, decreased muscle maladies, and re-creased trousers; see the FAQ section for more about the intricacies and benefits of the procedure.
147 W National Rd.
Vandalia, Ohio 45377