Unlike real spiders, spider veins are impervious to rolled-up magazines and rarely inspire beloved children’s novels. Squash pesky skin arachnids with today's Groupon: for $249, you get a consultation and two spider-vein treatments at Vein Centers for Excellence of Kansas City in Leawood (a $700 value).

Dr. Craig Schwartz, a triple-board-certified vascular surgeon, and a nurse sclerotherapist at Vein Centers for Excellence help patients reduce spider and varicose veins with laser treatments and sclerotherapy injections. During the initial consultation, the doctor looks at small purple squiggles as well as large, distended channels on the face or legs, and plans an attack using techniques such as a superficial or topical laser, sclerotherapy injections, or a snake-charming Indian reed pipe. Each vein-diminishing treatment requires little downtime, sometimes relieves pain, and can boost body confidence. Two treatments yield results, though a total of three–six sessions spaced four–six weeks apart are commonly necessary to clear spider veins. The most effective treatments are usually seen in patients with fair skin or veins made of twizzlers.

In the event that you present with symptoms of a more serious vein disease, Dr. Schwartz will be unable to provide treatment for spider or minor varicose veins until you have undergone a diagnostic ultrasound and appropriate treatment (not included in this Groupon), as determined by Vein Centers for Excellence of Kansas City.