Having white teeth is evidence of a healthy mouth, unlike having a white tongue, which is evidence of mistaking clown makeup for ice cream. Practice effective oral cosmetics with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get a Zoom! teeth-whitening treatment at Venetian Dental (a $599 value). This Groupon is redeemable at the locations in Port Charlotte, Sarasota, and Venice.

During the 45-minute chairside Zoom! whitening treatment, clients can watch television or listen to music as a skilled dental professional bedaubs teeth with clinical-strength hydrogen-peroxide gel. A special LED light activates oxygen molecules in the gel, which then safely penetrate enamel to hoist out stains that appear due to aging, consuming coffee, or substituting coffee with coal-tar energy drinks. Some clients may experience sensitivity or mild tingling that generally dissipates when the treatment finishes. Post-treatment care instructions help clients achieve immediately brighter smiles that—like laminated bed sheets—can stay white indefinitely.