What You'll Get
Humans maintain their bodies for the same reasons they maintain their houses: to keep the neighbors friendly and to disguise the fact that an alien lives inside them. Maintain appearances with today's Groupon: for $299, you get a body- or facial-sculpting package at The Vitruvian Medical Spa, formerly known as Bella - The MedSpa (a $1,000 total value). The package includes:
- One Alma Accent XL laser treatment to contour one of the following three: the abdomen or buttocks, the inner or outer thighs, or one Alma Accent XL laser skin-tightening treatment on the face and neck (an $800 value)
- A consultation for plastic surgery or an individualized weight-reduction program (a $200 value)
Under the supervision of Patients' Choice Award-winning plastic surgeon Dr. Paul A. Howard, Vitruvian's licensed laser technicians aim to reduce the appearance of cellulite and tighten facial skin with the Alma Accent XL laser. During the treatment, patients recline as the technician moves the heated laser in circular motions to evict squatting fat cells. The technician then increases the heat to break down fatty deposits before the lymphatic system naturally eliminates them and any lingering Orange Crush. Because the welling warmth can also stimulate collagen production and tighten skin, the laser is used in facial sessions as well. The Alma Accent XL laser requires no anesthesia and only minimal downtime, with most able to return immediately to normal activities such as fighting sentient garden gnomes. Results vary, and patients may require a few more treatments for optimal effects.
In addition to the laser treatment, a plastic-surgery consultation or individualized weight-reduction-program consultation let clients consider future aesthetic treatments. During the surgery consultation, a plastic surgeon determines candidacy for such procedures as Botox, fillers, breast augmentation, tattoo removals, or tummy tucks. The weight-reduction program harnesses hCG hormone therapy to rapidly reduce fat and reset the body's metabolism to more youthful levels. Vitruvian's hCG-based program also supports clients with personalized treatments, including blood work, wellness coaching, and optional therapy with experienced trainers, all geared toward helping patients build and maintain a healthy body slim enough to slither through modern-day air ducts.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Sep 20, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 3 per person, may buy 3 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. 24hr cancellation notice or $100 fee may apply. Valid only for 1 of the following 3 treatment areas: inner or outer thighs, abdomen or buttocks, or face and neck. Must be 18 or older. Treatments are non-transferable. May redeem across visits. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.