If comic books have taught us anything, it's that getting zapped with mysterious rays always gives you crime-fighting abilities—in this case, superhuman smoothness. Let your skin fulfill its dream of pummeling two-bit hoodlums with today's Groupon to Waterside Dermatology and Laser Center in Denver. Choose from the following options:

• For $148, you get three laser hair-removal treatments on a small area (a $99 value each, or a $297 total value).
• For $200, you get three laser hair-removal treatments on a medium area (a $140 value each, or a $420 total value).
• For $250, you get three laser-hair removal treatments on a large area (a $280 value each, or an $840 total value).

Small, medium, and large treatment areas are listed here.

The technicians at Waterside Dermatology and Laser Center deploy Cutera CoolGlide's laser system to oust unwanted fuzz from patrons' pelts. Stubborn strands dissolve upon contact with the invading light beam, and the cooling hand piece soothes stressed skin. The only evidence of the laser's labor is a mild pinch, which may be relieved with a topical anesthetic or bottled willpower, and a slight swelling or redness that can last a few hours. The Cutera CoolGlide can evict body bristles from almost any skin type or shade and removes hair much more quickly than electrolysis or leaving passive-aggressive post-it notes on your follicles.