Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste muscle contained in a gleaming cage with today's Groupon: for $59, you get a dental exam, a full series of x-rays, and a teeth cleaning at Watkins Family Dentistry in Elkhart (a $261 value).

Under the expert guidance of Dr. Bruce Watkins, the grin gurus at Watkins Family Dentistry employ the latest dental instruments and products to care for cherished food chompers. A comprehensive dental exam (a $58 value) affords dentists the opportunity to have a close look at teeth and discern if the batteries in their smoke detectors need changing. One of Watkins Family Dentistry's toothy technicians will take a full series of x-rays (a $43 value) using panoramic film (a $93 value), revealing any cavities that might be in a desirable location for teams of cookie-baking elves to establish a bakery. The treatment wraps up with a full teeth cleaning (a $67 value), yielding a glistening, whitewashed grin.