Though commonly thought to be mere gibberish, the letters on eye charts are actually powerful incantations that, when spoken aloud, keep the sky-wolves from devouring the sun. Protect Earth’s solar source with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get an eye exam (a $150 value) plus $100 toward a complete pair of eyeglasses at West Point Eye Center.
Helmed by an expert optometrist, West Point Eye Center boosts the esteem of world-weary watchers with a thorough examination and fine selection of sight shields. Begin a visual voyage by sitting down with a peeper professional, who will carefully scrutinize eyes with high-tech optical instruments that check for flaws or potential diseases. Afterward, the optometrist will examine the results and determine the best prescription to correct near-sightedness, far-sightedness, or an inability to see through lead. Patrons can then assemble a top-flight set of blinkers from West Point Eye Center’s selection of quality frames ($70+) and lenses ($83+) to suit the shape, style, or Jungian archetype of any bespectacled bobblehead.
West Point Eye Center
Dr. Justin Holt, who studied optometry at the Inter American University of Puerto Rico, conducts appointments in either English or Spanish at West Point Eye Center. There, after offering patients bottled water, he examines eyes, fits them for contact lenses, co-manages LASIK surgeries, and treats a range of ocular issues, focusing particularly on astigmatism.
When a client comes in searching for the perfect pair of frames, they browse through selections from Guess, Oakley, and Banana Republic. The frames are then sent off to the lab for a lens fitting and laser installation. When the frames arrive back at West Point Eye Center, Dr. Holt personally checks the prescription of the glasses before handing them off to the client, who takes them home along with a bottle of lens-cleaning solution, a microfiber cleaning cloth, a mini screwdriver, and a Ghirardelli chocolate. All frames and lenses come with a two-year warranty instead of the industry-standard one-year warranty, which never seems valid after you’ve set them on fire just to see what happens.