Whereas human fitness originated by running long distances to avoid being eaten, it now dictates that we run in place in order to avoid eating. Survive with the fittest thanks to today's Groupon: for $39, you get a one-hour Swedish massage (a $70 value) and your choice of three yoga, Zumba, Pilates, or TRX suspension-training classes (a $30 value) at WSPT (Westchester Square Physical Therapy) in the Bronx (a $100 total value).

The team of physical therapists at WSPT approaches fitness from a holistic and therapeutic angle, offering visitors personalized physical therapy, fitness classes, and wellness programs. In-house massage therapists lull guests into pampered slumbers during one-hour Swedish massages that help to relieve stress, reduce chronic pain, and rid backs of tenacious shirts. Afterward, Pilates and yoga participants can stretch and pose their way to a mind-body balance on the clean floor of a sun-filled studio. Zumba dancers shimmy their way to cardiovascular vigor, and TRX suspension trainees strengthen cores and limber limbs with pulley-like resistance training. Classes are small and customized to students' abilities and desires to free-climb the Empire State Building, and parking is available free of charge. Check out the class schedule to prepare for imminent fitness.