A perfectly white smile determines how others perceive you by shining brightly enough to blind them to your second head and compound eyes. Let dazzling teeth disguise the effects of your mad-science hobby with today’s Groupon: for $199, you get the Zoom! teeth-whitening treatment at Westlake Smile Center (a $495 value).

The devout dental associates at Westlake Smile Center highlight happy faces with grin-bolstering feats of general and cosmetic dentistry. The Zoom! whitening process takes up to 1.5 hours and safely whitens teeth up to eight shades, reversing years of toothless smirks and pantomimed laughter. Technicians thoroughly coat lips and gums in a protective salve before covering teeth with the Zoom! gel, which penetrates deeply into toothy crevasses for a thorough whitening process. The Zoom! light activates the gel after each application, breaking up stains and discoloration deposited by richly hued foods and the crayon scribbles of baby teeth. Lounge in the modern office's leather dental chairs during the whitening procedure while gazing upon the attached computer monitor for in-treatment entertainment.