Slow motion adds dramatic effect to a scene, which explains why so many action heroes exit car washes completely soaked from trying to roll up their windows. Prepare for a climactic car cleansing with today’s Groupon to White Glove Car Wash. Choose between the following options:

• For $30, you get three The Works car washes (a $65.97 value).
• For $79, you get a two-step buffing paint restoration (a $165 value).
  
  

White Glove Car Wash welcomes cars in all states of dirt- and scratch-induced disarray with an artillery of restorative conditioners, sealants, soft towels, and polishes. The 5–10 minute The Works wash razes debris from the frame and undercarriage before slathering layers of triple-coat paint conditioners, clear-coat sealer, and tire dressings on the auto, preserving the reflective shine long enough for sentient robots of the future to check their hair on it. After a soft towel drying, cleaners amble into the interior to dust the dashes, clean the consoles, and clear the cushions and crevices with K9-like vacuums trained to detect and evict dirt particles.

During the two-step buffing process, typically a four-hour procedure, abrasive and chemical cleaners coerce oxidation and deep scratches in the clear coat from the surface. Car coddlers then buff the frame with polish that removes old wax and light scratches, after which a polymer sealant coats the frame, forming a protective layer between the renewed paint and guerilla interior designers taking their talents to the streets.