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What You'll Get
Fear is the secret to happy marriages and lasting friendships, as well as the final ingredient in numerous madman-created serums. Get a full dose of the most primal of instincts with today’s Groupon to Witch’s Woods in Westford, Massachusetts. Choose between the following options:
- For $30, you get two tickets (up to a $60 value).
- For $58, you get four tickets (up to a $120 value).
Zombies, ghouls, and other nefarious ambassadors from beyond the grave return to wreck havoc on mortal nerves at Witch’s Woods, a Halloween screampark that features a haunted hayride and three houses rife with paranormal activity. A mysteriously cloaked figure ushers guests onto the hayride tractor before driving off into the misty woods, where the spirits of dead lumberjacks lurk behind every tree and birds warble songs that sound suspiciously like soundtracks of John Carpenter movies. As the driver remarks on this year’s bountiful berry harvest and displays his red-tinged scythe as proof, hordes of ghouls emerge from their hiding places and stumble toward their human prey for 20 minutes of bloodcurdling excitement. The small group of riders safely returns and seeks ill-advised refuge in the chamber rooms of Nightmare Mansion, where afternoon tea is served with a heaping spoonful of spooks. Castle Morbid’s dark dungeons await those with nerves of titanium, and the 3-D Keeper’s Crypt swallows up intruders from the 8-bit world in a contoured whirlwind of half-dead flesh.
In addition to the hayride and haunted houses, Witch’s Woods features self-guided attractions such as the Jack O’ Lantern Jamboree, a chilling display of chiseled pumpkins that highlights the art world’s most celebrated squash sculptors. The Horrorwood Chamber of Chills takes guests on a frightening foray into the scenery of classic horror films, complete with characters that come to life and claw at their glass jail cells. Because of the unsettling nature of these and other attractions—and because they have such long lives ahead of them—children younger than 6 should stay curled up under covers at home.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 1, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 2 additional as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Valid only for option purchased. Must be 6 or older. Subject to weather. Valid on 9/30, 10/1, 10/2, 10/6, 10/13, 10/20, 10/27, and 10/31. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
About Witch’s Woods
With three haunted houses, a spooky hayride, and a bustling carnival, Witch’s Woods is a Halloween theme park that rises from the mist for only one month a year. Ferried along by a sputtering tractor, Haunted Hayride passengers cower for 14 grueling minutes as they are assailed from all sides by zombies, werewolves, and ghouls. At the end of the ride, three paths lead to additional attractions, including Castle Morbid, in which medieval spirits chase interlopers through the halls and into the depths of the deep, where it becomes increasingly apparent that the weapons that once kept intruders out are now employed to keep them in. Nightmare Mansion is inhabited by a cursed family whose eternal life has left them as withered husks driven insane with rage at visitors who still possess the ability to die. Another path leads through woods walk, Vampire Passage. A chilling walk through our woods infested with vampires. The final path leads to the 3-D Keeper’s Crypt, where the undead shamble and scream as they pursue their prey, and where the walls themselves seem to be closing in.
A creepy carnival awaits survivors with rides, games, and more attractions. The Horrorwood Chamber of Chills puts favorite Halloween and horror-movie characters on display, including such icons as Frankenstein, Freddy Krueger, and Mary Shelley’s original version of Shrek. Meanwhile, the Jack O’ Lantern Jamboree displays rows upon rows of professionally carved pumpkins, eerily glowing at self-guided passersby.