Ancient Egyptian priests invented the first permanent makeup, ensuring that Nefertiti's eyeliner wouldn't fade in the afterlife and sphinxes wouldn't get lipstick on their teeth. Get modern makeup that lasts with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a permanent makeup procedure for your choice of brows or upper or lower eyelids at San Joaquin Laser Aesthetic Center (a $350 value), located on East Spruce Avenue.
Established as an obstetrics and gynecology practice, San Joaquin Laser Aesthetic Center has expanded its services, shaping up shapely brows and smoky eyes with Nouveau Contour permanent makeup, which can last for years without a touchup. Clients peruse Nouveau Contour's wide-ranging pigment palette to select a soft, natural hue, such as safety-vest orange or turbo-charged chartreuse. A doctor then applies a topical numbing agent to ease discomfort and traumatic dentist's-office flashbacks before taking aim at unadorned flesh with a Med 1000 device's sharp, sanitary one-time-use needle. During the procedure, clients may feel vibration, scratching, or a sinking feeling after realizing that they've left the particle accelerator on again.
Each procedure lasts about an hour. Following a permanent makeup application, most clients feel comfortable immediately returning to everyday activities, which can include sweat-soaked Jazzercise marathons, headfirst jacuzzi swirlies, and searching for Jack Palance’s hidden gold.
Those with severe thyroid issues or severe diabetes will likely not be able to use this Groupon.