Statistically, home is the place you're most likely to fall asleep under a running lawn mower or spontaneously combust while trying to slow dance with a running lawn mower. Find a safe haven with today's Groupon to Ye Olde Walkerville Bed & Breakfast. Choose between the following options:

• For $74, you get a one-night stay for two in any chamber or room (up to a $149 value).
• For $144, you get a one-night stay for two in Samantha's Suite (a $289 value).

Both stays include breakfast for each guest.

Ye Olde Walkerville Bed & Breakfast swaddles guests in the adult-oriented, opulent lodgings of its more than 100-year-old Victorian manor. Test the reaction time of the queen-size mattress in Corrina's Chamber, which is surrounded by antique furnishings and floral wallpaper, before dipping into the private bathroom's jacuzzi tub. Bethany's Room cradles heads on its queen-size bed and boasts a private bath that grants cover from nomadic rubber-duck populations. Guests to Samantha's Suite, meanwhile, stare up at vaulted ceilings from a custom-crafted king-size bed or stake couch cushion claims on a plush sofa in the sitting area. Sail through miniature squalls in the suite's jacuzzi, or make friends with the bar fridge while the CD system croons mood music. Each room treats boarders to cable TV, a Meridian phone with free local calls, and Internet access.

Mornings reach a crescendo with fresh breakfasts customized toward guests' preferences. Diners can sink forks into dishes such as pancakes sashaying through Canadian maple syrup or omelettes housing bounties of vegetables and breakfast meats. Each morning meal, also available in vegetarian and vegan incarnations, arrives bookended by a fresh-baked breakfast cake that makes a proper fuel for a jaunt to one of Windsor's local attractions. Though the bed and breakfast isn't equipped to host small children or pets, guests can lodge four-legged companions at an adjacent pet boarding centre and veterinary clinic.