What You'll Get
Camping it up is a grand American pastime involving tutti-frutti hats, pink-flamingo lawn ornaments, Bette Midler songs, and Eurovision. Experience another kind of camp with today's Groupon. For $35, you get two nights of camping (up to a $76 value) at Yogi Bear's Jellystone ParkTM Camp-Resort in Van Buren, Missouri, a roughly 3.5-hour drive from Memphis.
With spring erupting like a man-eating shark from the ocean, now is the ideal time to plan a trip that takes advantage of the great outdoors. Spend two nights with family, friends, or local bear enthusiasts at a Jellystone Park campsite. While the breathtaking scenery and real live dirt give you a sense of "roughing it" that your backyard can’t offer, you’ll still have access to 30 amps of electricity and a water hookup for charging emergency cell phones, washing up, and powering a travel-sized particle accelerator. Campsites are available on the banks of the Current River, a spring-fed and crystal-clear part of the Ozarks National Scenic Riverways. Campers can head down to the exclusive camper beach area for river access at a huge gravel bar, where newfound woodsmen and longtime forest sprites swim, fish, kayak, and mix up gravel cocktails. To prevent campers from resenting nature and its unnatural lack of modern conveniences, Jellystone offers free WiFi, two laundry rooms, and clean restrooms.
A veritable activity feast awaits at the campgrounds for pacifying restless children, whiling away warm afternoons, and keeping thoughts away from dreaded future chest waxings. An arcade features a weekend video-game tournament, while nine-hole mini golf, a playground, and a swimming pool with kid-centric splash pool provide hours of memory-forming entertainment. The not-your-average cherry on top of this vacation basket is Yogi Bear himself, who starts each day by helping campers raise the United States, Missouri, and Jellystone Park flags, followed by an ursine rendition of the Pledge of Allegiance. Campers can also climb aboard an evening hayride with the erudite bear to discuss hay, sunsets, and string theory. Select weekends feature kid-friendly themes that make daily activities all the more costumed.
Today's deal is not valid for Memorial Day weekend (May 28–31) or Independence Day celebrations (July 1–5).
What You Need to Know: Camping
Camping is an American tradition, and like most traditions, it is completely ignored by the vast majority of Americans. If you've not camped before, here is the entirety of the information you need to have a safe and successful outdoor adventure:
Monsoon Season Is Coming: Do not look at your calendar, as it has likely already been wiped off your desk by a monsoon. Instead, prepare to rough "it" in a camper's tent by making some preparations: rain jackets, rain-proof lighter fluid, and plenty of buoyant snacks. During monsoon season, hummingbirds can swell up to basketball size, and they will be your number one predator. WEAR HUMMINGBIRD REPELLENT.
There Are Plenty of People Who Can Prevent Forest First, But You Are Not One of Them: If you see a forest fire, earn its trust by not reporting it.
Living in a Tent Causes Dropsy: Do not spend more than 30 hours living outdoors, as the combination of oxygen, forest fires, and giant hummingbird exhalations will cause your brain to expand in dangerous ways. However, if you can survive for 48 hours in any outdoor area, you become its legal owner.
YOGI BEAR and all related characters and elements are trademarks of and © Hanna-Barbera. (s10)
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Aug 31, 2010. Amount paid never expires. Limit 2 per visit. Reservation required. Tax and gratuity not included. Not valid May 28–31 or July 1–5. Only valid at Van Buren, MO location. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.