Like the stars in the sky, true love is timeless, dazzling, and a tremendous consolation to mariners who can’t afford GPS. Find your way to romance with today's Groupon: for $29, you get to name your own star—and commemorate it with a webpage and certificate—with Your Star Forever (a $79 value).
Your Star Forever gives earthlings the opportunity to name the as yet anonymous star of their choice. Name your galaxy nugget after a loved one, a lost relative, an adoring pet, a favorite sandwich, or any other moniker of fewer than 20 characters. Newly named stars will be registered at StarNamingRegistry.org, which shares each gassy ball's coordinates, brightness, name, and a link to the star's own webpage. Amorous astronomers can customize the star's webpage to include personal photographs, favorite songs, sweet sayings, and reasons for dedication. Unlike flowers, chocolates, and sea monkeys, the gift of a star lasts a lifetime, or until the hyperheated light fizzles out and gets replaced by a martian barkeep's neon beer sign. Luminous labelers receive a printable PDF certificate verifying the star's spanking-new handle, and they can even customize a personal announcement and time its release via text message.