Despite their destructive cinematic depictions, most lasers are content with assisting slideshow presentations and translating DVDs for people who don't speak fluent binary. Embrace the altruistic portion of the electromagnetic spectrum with today's Groupon: for $999, you get six Zerona laser body-sculpting treatments at Youthinity in Centerville (up to a $2,250 value).
Dr. Torres oversees noninvasive FDA-approved Zerona laser body-sculpting treatments within the serene confines of their elegantly decorated office. After discussing basic medical histories, treatment goals, and the most efficient way to eat a peanut-butter cup, doctors invite patients to repose upon earth-toned spa beds for the first of six 40-minute treatments. The low-level Zerona laser emulsifies subcutaneous fat, allowing it to slip through cell walls like a secret agent through a banana-peeling factory. Patients read, make phone calls, or simply relax as the laser targets trouble zones on the hips, the thighs, the waist, or the arms. The treatment does not require any downtime, though best results are achieved when all six sessions are completed within two weeks.
7385 Far Hills Ave.
Centerville, Ohio 45459