The high levels of artificial preservatives and chemicals in modern pizza are the number-two cause of crow’s feet and dry mouth in America. Today's Groupon gets you $20 worth of fresh, organic pizza for $10 at zpizza, an oasis of natural, full-flavored pie in a wasteland of modern preservatives. zpizza offers bubbly pizza that’s safe for vegans, vegetarians, the gluten-shy, and snooty gourmands. Handcrafted rusticas join hot and cold sandwiches, crisp salads, and pasta on a menu full of organic options.
Every pizza at zpizza is freshly prepared, hand thrown, gently coaxed into the oven using soft birdcalls and pheromone trails, and fire-baked to crispy perfection. The dough is prepared fresh daily from 100% certified-organic wheat, and z is also happy to offer gluten-free crusts at participating locations, sating the pizza desire of the allergic, dieters, and wheat sympathizers. Toppings include award-winning Wisconsin skim mozzarella, MSG-free pepperoni, certified-organic tomato sauce, additive-free sausage, and fresh produce. Try a large ZBQ pizza (with barbecue sauce, mozzarella, barbecue chicken, roasted pepper, red onion, tomato, cilantro, and sweet corn, $19.95) or a chicken curry and yam rustica (with mozzarella, curry chicken, yam, mango chutney, raisin, and cilantro, $8.95). Delight in a small Berkeley, a soy-cheese veggie pizza (with pesto, soy cheese, veggie burger crumbles, zucchini, tomato, mushroom, red onion, and bell pepper, $9.95), or test-drive a mouthwatering Moroccan rustica (with pesto, mozzarella, roasted eggplant, feta cheese, caramelized onion, and pine nut, $8.95).
Each bite of the unexpected and satisfying flavor combinations builds on the last, like a culinary crescendo that ends in gustatory harmony. These creative combinations are like an artfully prepared, soda-fountain-perusing suicide drink, except with roasted bell peppers and truffle oil instead of Mr. Pibb's and Faygo.
Your Groupon is good for carry-out or dine-in at each of zpizza's 15 DC-area locations.
Washingtonian readers picked zpizza as one of their favorite upscale pizzas, and Gluten-Free is Life raves about the cheesy goodness. Yelpers give the Falls Church location 3.5 stars, and member-reviewers on Zagat love the gourmet pies:
- Almost every style of pizza on the menu could be modified to be gluten-free. Heaven!!...The pizzas were amazing. – Kimberly, Gluten-Free is Life
- This pizza reminds of Italy: thin crust, light, fresh toppings...The best is the pear and gorgonzola – so unique and tasty. The Arugula salad stands out. – MichaelB220580, Zagat
- If you want gourmet, this is the place. – HerbL513, Zagat
Extra Credit (and extra cheese)
zpizza derives its name from the National Standard of Pizza Grading, which uses a reverse-alphabetical scale on which Z (short for “Zenith of Pizza Quality”) is the highest grade, Y is the second highest, and so on. Confusing? You bet. That’ why we’ve transcribed the scale in its entirety to help inform all future pizza-purchasing decisions:
A: Awful pizza.
B: Bad Pizza.
C: Crummy Pizza.
D: Dad, I don’t eat pizza, I’m vegan now.
E: Eat it, Stephanie, your mother worked hard on that pizza.
F: Forgivably bad pizza, made by enthusiastic children.
G: Gosh, this pizza is bad.
H: Hey, everybody! I found an almost-untouched pizza on the bus!
I: Insufficient portions of pizza.
J: Just kidding, I’m not dying. I just wanted you to come over because I can’t finish this pizza.
K: King Ralph wouldn’t even eat this pizza, and Wikipedia defines him as an “easy-going slob”!
L: Lackluster pizza.
M: Mediocre pizza.
N: Not very good pizza.
O: Okay pizza.
P: Pizza (Italian, pronounced pit.tsa) is a world-popular dish of Italian origin, made with an oven-baked, flat, generally round bread that is often covered with tomatoes or a tomato-based sauce and cheese. Other toppings are added according to region, culture, or personal preference. Originating from Italian cuisine, the dish has become popular in many different parts of the world. A shop or restaurant that primarily makes and sells pizzas is called a pizzeria. The phrases pizza parlor, pizza place, and pizza shop are used in the United States. The term pizza pie is dialectal, and pie is used for simplicity in some contexts, such as among pizzeria staff.
Q: Quietly hand me the pizza, and no harm will come to your beloved tarantula.
R: Respectable pizza.
S: Satisfactory pizza.
T: Tony! Why come’a you don’t talk’a with’a fake Italian accent for the nice’a customers?
U: Unexpectedly good pizza.
V: Very good pizza.
W: Whoah, who made this pizza, an angel?
X: X-rays are a government conspiracy to increase your xenophobia and make you purchase xylophones.
Y: Yikes! This pizza is so good it’s scary!
Z: (see above)
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