In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's Groupon: for $40, you get a 90-minute massage at Zen Beauty Spa (up to a $90 value). Purchasers get their choice of one of six massage types: Swedish, deep tissue, sports, neuromuscular therapy, lymphatic, or aromatherapy.
The talented massage therapists at Zen Beauty Spa help frazzled muscles relax and rejuvenate from deltoid to tendon. Appropriate for active athletes, the sports massage heals and prevents future injuries by targeting problem areas, such as tennis elbow and pickle-ball knee, with stimulating strokes that encourage blood and lymph circulation. Stress melts away like a snowman on a spit with the Swedish massage, complete with smooth gliding strokes, kneading, friction, and stretching. During the deep-tissue massage, a muscle mediator unties knots and dissolves tension with strokes similar to Swedish techniques, but with more intense pressure. Neuromuscular therapy calms spasming muscles, while a lymphatic massage boosts the immune system by ridding the body of harmful toxins and ghosts of Columbus Days past. By flooding nostrils with the scents of essential oils, the aromatherapy massage sends subliminal messages to the limbic system such as "relax" and "snap, crackle, pop."