All reviews are from people who have redeemed deals with this merchant.
Reviewed February 12, 2012
What You'll Get
Losing weight is a challenge almost as difficult as reading an entire dictionary or climbing a tree that's covered in canola oil. Take an expert approach to tackling the task of slimming down with today's Groupon: for $1,295, you get six sessions of Zerona body-sculpting treatments at Zerona Body Sculpting (a $2,898 value).
Under the expert guidance of Dr. Victor M. Rudkin, Zerona Body Sculpting utilizes Zerona cold-laser technology to banish body fat from the waistline, back, hips, and thighs. Usually scheduled for an hour, the body-slimming treatment is administered in six 40-minute sessions over the span of two weeks. The treatment enlists the services of a low-energy laser scanner which transmits samba-playing signals to fat cells, stirring them into shimmying and shaking until becoming completely liquefied. The melted masses are then ousted through a temporary pore in the cell membrane, through the body's natural process of detoxification, as well as with the help of a pitchfork-wielding mob of metabolism. The non-invasive treatment causes no scarring or bruising, and does not require any recovery time.
Sessions must be completed within 72 hours of each other. This treatment is not recommended for women who are pregnant or breast feeding; those who suffer from cardiovascular, liver, kidney, or lymphatic system disease; or those who currently have cancer or are within one year of remission.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 24, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Must be 18 or older. Must activate by 11/24/11, sessions expire 2 weeks from activation date. Pre-treat consultation included. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.