With only three home-turf games remaining in the season, cheer on the Twin Cities' fearsome squad of sassy ladies as they run, pass, tackle, kick, shimmy, teleport, twirl, and crank call their way across the gridiron. But don't expect any shortened fields, wussy tear-away flags, or altered rules just because the players have little use for a cup—this is straight-up football, right down to the earth-shaking QB sacks, high-flying Hail Marys, and tackles that pack their own crater. This hard-hitting action, coupled with intricate strategic plays, provides more entertainment than a shaky washing-machine race through a corn maze. Additionally, on May 8, Burnsville High School will host a BirdieBall golf tournament prior to the Vixen game (not included with the Groupon), which will feature par 3 holes, field goal drives, various prizes, and an opportunity to pair football with the most brutally unforgiving of sports.
In the olden days, racetracks employed ladies on roller skates to deliver axle grease to steam-powered racecars so that they could maintain their blistering pace of 9 miles per hour. When a scuffle between two such ladies proved more entertaining than the race itself, roller derby was born. Today’s Groupon gets the Twin Cities its daily recommended dosage of kinetic estrogen. For $6, you get a general-admission ticket (a $12 value on the day of the game) to see the North Star Roller Girls battle it out in a flat-track roller-derby bout. During the Wild Wild Midwest double-header on Saturday, March 20, at 7:30 p.m., the Banger Sisters take on Delta Delta Di, while the Violent Femmes face off against the Kilmore Girls. This will be the final grudge match before the championship bout on April 10. Customers may purchase up to four Groupons. General admission tickets are good for chair and bleacher seating or standing, but not trackside seating.
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The Timberland Boot-Hockey Tournament, one of the largest pond-hockey events in the United States, is as much a rousing ice fiesta as it is a wintry, amateur puck fest. Four players on the ice (teams consist of a total of 12 players) compete for the puck with feats of icy finesses that are as fun as they are intense. In addition to the thrills of the game, participants receive a U.S. Pond Hockey Championships bag with an official hat, hand-warmers, a coupon to stare into Wayne Gretzky's eyes for 20 minutes, and other pond-hockey goodies.
Uproarious cheers from the crowded stands compete with roaring engines zooming down Raceway Park's 1/4-mile banked asphalt track. Between April and September, weekly race events invite late-model, short-tracker, and mini stock cars to compete against one another in races that culminate in a final karaoke lap. Other festivities include Friday Night Destruction events, where motorcycles, trailers, and school buses put their axels to the test. Raceway Park also puts fans behind the wheels of real track cars during occasional racing-experience events.