There's no better place to talk at the office than around the water cooler. Here are some of the most commonly overheard water-cooler conversation starters:

• I poured way too much. There is no way I'm gonna finish this.
  
• I'm always over here. I must be, like, the thirstiest guy in this office.
  
• I don't really feel like it's making the water cooler, like, where's the refrigerator part?
  
• It'd be cool to use this as a big fish tank, but you'd have to poke a hole in it to get the fish in and then the water would spill out.
  
• Why are there two nozzles? Let's just be safe and agree not to touch the red one. Red means stop.
  
• The cups at my house are way bigger, and let me tell you something—they ain't made of paper!
  
• It's weird that I can drink this stuff but I still don't know how to swim.
  
• I used to bring my own water to work, but then I found this, and now I'm on easy street.
  
• I bet this carpet gets mad wet all the time.
  
• If there were soap here I'd be half tempted to wash my hands.
  
• I helped the guy bring the bottles in once. You know, just to give something back.
  
• If 75% of the human body is water, consider me 75% human.
  
• Some people get mad because they put chemicals in water. Last time I checked, chemicals were red and green and came in little tubes.
  
• I started drinking this stuff so I could get my medicine down. And I never stopped.
  
• Good thing no one who sits over here is allergic to water.
  
• What do you think is better—this or the coffee machine? Without water there wouldn't even be a coffee machine, so I guess we know who wins that war.
  
• If there were fire here, I would just tip this thing over. Voilà, no more fire. Guess it's not that hard to be a fireman.
  
• Scientists call it H2O, but I call it H2O-Yeah. I thought of that last week and I've been telling everybody. People seem to like it.
  
• It's gonna get crazy the day we use this thing to make water balloons.
  
• I'm thinking about bringing my lunch over here and using the top of the water bottle as a table.
  
• This stuff is NOT for plants.
  
• Imagine if they had these on the streets instead of fire hydrants. That's one of my ideas to improve the city.
  
• Sometimes it looks like it's empty but water still comes out. I don't know what that's about. I know it's not magic, because magic isn't supposed to be real, but....
  
• There's something very satisfying about putting a new bottle on top of this thing. It's, like, one thing you can control, you know?
  
• It is impossible to talk and swallow at the same time. I've tried it. I coughed water on the copier.
  
• Please be seltzer. Please be seltzer. Just kidding. I know it's not.
  
• One time I drew eyes on the bottle and pretended it was my friend who was throwing up. I named it "Walter" ’cause that's the closest to water.