Click above to buy tickets for the Earthquakes vs the Kansas City Wizards on Saturday, August 22, at 7:30 p.m. Click on the links below for other games.

• Buy tickets for Friday, September 18, at 8 p.m. vs the Colorado Rapids.
• Buy tickets for Saturday, October 3, at 8 p.m. vs the New York Red Bulls.

Today’s Groupon gets you ticket to a San Jose Earthquakes game plus two beers to guzzle in Corona Cove. The Cove is the only place in Santa Clara University’s Buck Shaw Stadium where you can drink a beer in your seat, and since Corona Cove is on-field, it’s got fantastic views of the Earthquakes’ earth-shattering back-heeling and bicycle kicks.

The Quakes’ season has had some bad bounces but they’re bouncing back after a draw against DC last Saturday. The underdogs are looking up at the rest of the Western Conference, so root for the home team (player performance improves by 17% during periods of intense rooting) during any one of the following games:

• Saturday, August 22, 7:30 p.m.: Witness the Earthquakes’ attempt to decimate the Kansas City Wizards with a destructive combination of richter-scale-registering passes and goals of tremor. Buy tickets.
• Friday, September 18, 8 p.m.: Hear the mighty sound of the crumbling spirits of Colorado Rapids’ players as the Earthquakes run, kick, pass, and shoot with Earth-shifting precision. Buy tickets.
• Saturday, October 3, 8 p.m.: Find a windowless hallway, sit Indian-style, and tuck your head between your legs because the New York Red Bulls are in store for Earthquake-style carnage. Buy tickets.

Soccer is the world’s most popular sport. It’s such an exciting sport to watch live that fans break into song and communal celebration. The arc of a soccer ball soaring across the sky is a breathtaking spectacle. Fans relish well-timed passes, impenetrable defense, perfectly executed corners, and carding the referee for foul play in the parking lot after the game.

This is a VIP ticket, which means you get free parking with your two free beers. Pick up a free Earthquakes t-shirt (made of either 100% cotton, a cotton-poly blend, or possibly lycra) or another promotional item inside the stadium. Plus put your e-mail address and contact info on the Groupon to be entered into a raffle to win an Earthquakes jersey.

Note: You must be 21+ to purchase this Groupon.

Reviews

Yelpers give the Earthquakes an average of 3.5 stars; one reviewer gave it a single star since he couldn’t drink a beer in the stands. Good thing you’ll be boozing in Corona Cove. > * The game was fun to watch and very entertaining. Just as much drama as a regular old World Cup game, minus the celebrities. I really had a lot of fun. – Lindsey A. > * Hooray for the Quakes! We have been season ticket holders since their earlier incarnation, so have experienced the highs of a winning team and are currently crawling out of the troughs. – Tyffanee S. > * I heart the San Jose Earthquakes! – Lynn N.

Naming the San Jose Earthquakes

Choosing an appropriate name for San Jose’s professional soccer team was a long, arduous process. The team’s marketing department tapped into the regional pastime of natural disasters. The hardest thing about making their final selection was not being able to select all the other possible great names: * The San Jose Natural Disasters That Result From Being Near Or On Top Of A Fault Line * The San Jose Tremors Which Will Likely Magnify Into A Full-Blown Earthquake At Any Moment * The San Jose Fires Caused By Power Lines Falling and Gas Lines Breaking Due To An Earthquake * The San Jose Earthquake That Will Likely Take Place In 2012 But There’s No Way To Really Tell