Spring is the season we must try to remove the voluminous bear costume we’ve been hibernating in all winter. As a slide whistle makes its comic swoop from treble to bass, our winter-fattened guts burst out from our pant waists, stretching all the way to touch the floor. We raise our hands to our cheeks in shock and blushingly exclaim, “Doctor, Doctor - give me some more of those gut-shrinker pills! Nobody loves me! I’m so faaaaaat!” With today’s Groupon, you’ll learn to flatten your abs the healthier, more butt-kicking, less whiny kind of way. Boston Athletic Club](http://www.bostonathleticclub.com/Club/Scripts/Home/home.asp) is offering a one-month introductory membership for just $40 - over 70% off the regular price of $135. So if your cut-offs have reached capacity, you’ll have a month to see if this health club is the right fit.

The Athletic Club, located in a renovated warehouse at 653 Summer, has a variety of weight loss options beyond standard workout machines. Consult with their staff dietician about your unfortunate lard-only diet, and she can guide you towards the in-house restaurant for some healthy alternatives. Da Club (as it’s known by clever patrons) offers classes like “Group Kick” (martial arts and boxing), yoga, pilates, cycling classes, and the non-ancient art of “Zumba”— a Latin/Merengue/Reggaeton dance-fitness fusion, or the new millennium’s answer to the 90s sensation of “Cardio Funk”. Lovers of both fitness and dismemberment can partake in a “Legs, Butts and Guts” toning class.

Those with a competitive streak will be pleased with BAC’s selection of organized sports. The Club started as a tennis club, and feature free tennis hours daily. They also have pick-up basketball, squash, racquetball, and volleyball. Check out who’s exercising at least their vote on Yelp, where the B.A.C. has a solid four star rating…

• “The gym was on the small side, but had all the equipment that I needed to keep in shape, and a StairMaster to keep my butt from hitting a downward slope. It is all about the butt, after all…”- Lauren B. Sagacious and salacious!
• “The place is huge, and it’s always clean…it’s sort of in a warehouse behind UPS of Summer St., but the rate isn’t bad, there is a good selection of classes, and they have a great massage therapist on staff.”- Debra L.

BAC’s website also features some glowing testimonials, including this one:

• “Since I began training I no longer have to take the blood pressure medication that I was on, and I’ve dropped 3 pants sizes and lost 40 pounds!”- Maureen. Damn, girl.

Several different levels of membership are available for those who do or don’t want classes and personal trainers, while most members enjoy a ton of equipment with built-in TVs, an indoor pool, a scintillating sauna, free promotions, exclusive seasonal parties, and even complimentary popcorn at the bar. Check them out on-site or online to learn more.

You’re gonna feel so good, like Usher says, you’ll want to Make Love In This Club (see video for clarification).