Like magma and dreams, frozen custard is a semisolid—neither solid enough to build a house upon nor liquid enough to feed to a thirsty sparrow. Stock up on semi-permeable sweets with today’s Groupon: for $14, you get any two frozen custard items (up to a $13.90 value) and a bag of Island Gold gourmet puffcorn (up to a $14.95 value) at Abbot’s Frozen Custard (up to a $28.85 total value).

Abbot’s Frozen Custard churns out cones, sundaes, and shakes using a secret custard recipe dating to the company’s inception in 1902. Since its custard craftsmen begin each day reenacting a scene from The Iceman Cometh and mixing a fresh batch of custard, the menu culls its flavors from a rotating list of favorites such as vanilla almond, black raspberry, mint oreo, and peach cobbler. Cones and dishes serve up velvety scoops for small nips with a spoon or lavish licks held steady by a homemade waffle cone. Build-your-own sundaes allow customers to customize a custard confection by selecting a custard, syrup topping, and extra treat such as sprinkles, peanut-butter cups, or oreos; milk shakes, smoothies, and floats are on hand to appease devout straw-lovers. Between sips, slurps, and spoonfuls, customers can exercise their munching muscles with bites of Island Gold buttered-rum-toffee puffcorn, or save the golden, caramelized treasure for a trip to the Bahamas, where it may be used as legal tender.

Although Abbot's Frozen Custard sometimes features discounted prices online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.