A good bartender always has advice for their customers' problems, which is why it's best not to bartend in a particle-physics lab or in prison. Hone your listening ear with today's Groupon to ABC Bartending School, good for its Rancho Cordova location. Choose between the following options:

• For $75, you get a four-hour mixology class (a $150 value).
• For $137, you get 40 hours of training to become a certified bartender (a $334 value).

Since 1977, the experienced instructors of ABC Bartending School have fostered the mixing, stirring, and shaking techniques of party provisioners and canteen curators around the country. Pupils in the four-hour mixology course will learn the basics of alcoholic alchemy, blending liquors and mixers into sippable sensations. Alternately, over the course of 40 knowledge-soaked hours, aspiring alcohol synthesizers in the bartending course will receive extensive instruction and hands-on practice with tropical garnishes, barkeep flair, and more than 100 cocktails. Books and fees are also included with this Groupon for the full 40-hour course. All ABC grads enjoy a lifetime of free refresher courses, nationwide job-placement assistance, and access to a Cheers dimension that currently, due to spatial fluctuations, contains only Cliff Clavins.