The burden of aches and pains makes it impossible for humans to run as fast as cheetahs, which is why the human diet is virtually devoid of gazelle meat. Keep fast food from getting away with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get a 60-minute hot-stone massage and mini facial at Above and Beyond Day Spa on Bandera Road (a $100 value).

Above and Beyond Day Spa eases shoulder burdens and facial furrows with custom treatments performed in tranquil, private rooms. During the one-hour hot-stone massage, a massage therapist sets smooth river stones on key points of the body in a treatment designed to deeply relax muscles tense from studying for their anatomy final (a $70 value). The mini facial places faces in the hands of an expert aesthetician who cleanses and steams the visage before tidily sweeping away expired skin cells (a $30 value). Countenances then bask in a face mask followed by a burst of hydration more refreshing than a Slurpee sprinkler in the middle of the desert.